Opinion | Guest Contributor | 2015.06.15 | 27 Sha’ban 1436 AH

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Mini Kim K’s and Kanye’s strut around confidently. Techno geeks and social snobs ready to contradict their parents. Know-it-All’s challenge, even dominate their teachers. An oft-mentioned refrain: “The state of our youth!” But, Why? Fatima Moolla of @timelessteenz doesn’t mince her words in placing the blame solidly on their parent’s shoulders.

I believe the ogres we call children these days behave the way they do because parents don’t take out the time to discipline their children and teach them right from wrong, how to respect elders and address them or how not to be vulgar and obscene. They are not living examples and role models for their children, because they are hardly at home due to being preoccupied in highly paid professions and jobs. We are so caught up in this hunger game for wealth, that our children are being neglected, which is one of the reasons for their degeneration and demoralisation.

Since parents don’t find the time to spend with their children, they gift them with the latest gadgets ranging from iPhone, Samsung, Apple, PSP and Androids believing it substitutes for the time that children yearn for and need as they growing up. Social networks stream with users as young as 10 years old. These innocent children display their lives, emotions and challenges to the world in the hope of getting comfort from somewhere and someone. Sadly, the wrong people are those who console them and even grip them into their evil clutches. Being young and gullible, children do fall into this trap and often put their lives and families in danger. There are people out there who are like wolves in sheep’s clothing; outwardly they give an impression of sympathy, but deep down they rejoice at your suffering and difficulties.

Why do children hanker after celebrities and pop stars?

Parents have hired baby sitters to entertain their children while they are at work or lounging around with friends on a girls or boys ‘night out’. The modern day baby sitter is non other then the television. No doubt, the television shapes the lives of teens and tweens and makes them desirous to live the flashy lives of celebrities as shown in movies. These are the people they look up to; the very ones who make vice appear to be virtues. The ones who make drugs, alcohol, violence and haraam romance look so magical and cool. These celebs regularly prove to us they are actually miserable, often become drug addicts, and waste their lives and talents. A far cry from the image those who idolise them have. It is said, that a celebrity is someone who works hard to become famous and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.

Getting back to the point, we see that one factor stands out in all of the above answers. Children are deprived of love, abandoned and ignored in there very homes. Parents should feel a stab of guilt at the thought of this. It is not presents and material objects that satisfy them, but the ‘presence’ of their parents which they wish to have. A healthy parent-child communication skill is essential for families to have, as it strengthens the bond of love between them. No matter how many gifts and technological gadgets a child can have, it will never equal to the TIME that a parent spends with them. Children feel loved and wanted when their parents do little actions like sitting with them and asking them how their day at school was, calling them from work, leaving a sports program on TV to play sport outside together, or even going for a walk in the park. Even talking about issues which are concerning them and asking questions about it.

Reality check – what children REALLY need is our time and love, not money and gifts.

Let it not be that our lives become like the example of the little boy who had to buy his father’s time.

Spending time with our children is the best boost for confidence that we could ever give them. It helps them gain a sense of self worth and sends them a message that they are valued, loved and an important part of the family. Spending time with children also provides the opportunity to have an influence in establishing values that are meaningful. It signals to them that you love them for who they are, and not only because they your children. Talk, wink, and give a thumbs up when they least imagine it – it is the same as getting an unexpected post in the mailbox. Get down to their level and see the world from their eyes.

The most important skills and values that we can provide for our children are not financial provisions. All that is required is just a little investment of your time.

Dear parents remember, Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back. Ordinary people think merely of spending time. Great people think of using it.