The parents of a Northwestern student who just headed back from holiday received this letter:

Dear Mom and Dad: Univer$ity life i$ $o wonderful! Cla$$e$ this $e$$ion are intere$ting, my cla$$mate$ are the be$t! But after $pending all my ca$h on pre$ent$, I am in a little need for $ome $pending money for book$ and $uch. But don't want to $end the wrong $ignal$ home. Love Your $on.

After deliberating a while, this was the draft of their appropriate response:

Dear Son: NOt much to NOtice here on the NOrth side of town since you left for NOrthwestern. NObody doing NOthing Noble. Enjoyed having you home for the holidays in NOvember and December. NOthing is the same since you left. Loved your NOte; write aNOther one when you have time. Have to go NOw. Mom & Dad.