Sheikh Abdul Rahman Al-Sudais – 30 Rabiul Awwal 1435

His Eminence Sheikh Abdul Rahman Al-Sudais –May Allah protect him− delivered this Friday Khutbah entitled “The Obligation of Dutifulness to Parents” in which he dealt with the obligatory act and the merits of dutifulness to parents. He supported his argument with verses from the Holy Qur’ān and with hadiths from the Noble Sunnah, cautioning against the perils of disobeying parents.

Exclusive praise be to Allah. Our Lord! We show gratitude to You, ask for Your assistance, entreat You to forgive our sins, and return in repentance unto You. Glory and praise be to You! You commanded us to worship no deity save You, and to treat our parents beneficently. Verily, it is our Lord’s ordainment and divine counsel.

(The Sheikh reads one line of poetry paraphrased as follows):

O My Lord! To Your divine being is magnificent praise.
Sincere gratitude to none but You alone.

I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah with no associate. He has rendered believers’ hearts replete with profuse benefaction, mercy, and compassion. I also bear witness that our Prophet and beloved Muhammad is Allah’s Servant and Messenger; he is the most esteemed Messenger honoured with a divine message and the best of the human race as person. May Allah send His Salat (Grace, Honours, Mercy) and Peace upon him, his family, his early Companions –who enjoyed the divine bounty of brotherly bonds and engaged in mutual assistance and promotion of piety as well as benefaction− his tabi’în (the contemporaries of the Companions of the Prophet [May Allah’s salat and Peace be upon him] after his death), and all those who follow them righteously in pursuit of Allah’s blissful gardens and satisfaction.

Now then, Servants of Allah!

Observe taqwa vis-à-vis Allah, Your Lord (Blessed be He in His Supreme Existence); show gratitude and obedience to Him, and never disobey Him: “O you who believe! Fear Allâh and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allâh. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what you do.” [Al-Ḥashr: 18]. Thank Him for His latent and manifest blessings, in addition to His profuse and ever-increasing favours so that you can enjoy the delights of the Herein and the bliss of the Hereafter.

(The Sheikh reads two lines of poetry paraphrased as follows):

Thankfulness opens up otherwise locked gates,
Where Allah stores bounties for implorers of His blessing.
Proceed to show gratitude and fulfil its requirements;
Seek shelter with Allah against afflictions in ambush lying.

O Muslims!

In this eventful period of history −where incidents and happenings overwhelm people’s very existence, people are engaged in a rush for materialistic gains, viewers break into a gallop to watch satellite channels with great wonderment; everybody is rushing towards the techniques of multimedia communication; every single individual is engulfed in one’s sphere of interest and petty concerns of life; life affairs succumb to the confounding turbulent sea waves. Amidst all this, there emerges an extremely crucial issue. It is a cause to which one would never hesitate to devote one’s life, without regretting any waste of vain effort in its pursuit. Even if one spent his/her whole life to serve such a cause, the result would only be further success, victory, wisdom, lucidity, purer innermost nature, and better reputation in the whole community. It is an issue almost generally ignored and therefore needs to be reiterated through repeated reminders. It is indubitably a big issue. May Allah protect you! It is namely the issue of dutifulness to parents and treating them kindly during their lifetime and after death. Dutifulness to parents is prompted by the desire to establish intimate kinship ties, to show devotion, to anticipate blissful destiny in the Hereafter, and to seek felicitous divine recompense.

(The Sheikh reads two lines of poetry paraphrased as follows):

Observe dutifulness to parents, for it is
Our Lord’s commandment Who has no peer!
Allah compared thanking parents to thanking Him.
To Him are graces, blessings, praise and glory!

O fellow Muslims!

If human nature is instinctively inclined to love whoever treats it kindly, then the most beneficent people who deserve good treatment and affection should be our revered parents. Dutifulness to parents is a religious precept and a commendable conduct to be necessarily observed by Muslims. It is a strict observance to be followed as a mandatory individual commitment that tolerates neither excuse nor negligence. As a matter of fact, religion and Shari’â, common sense, gallantry and nobility, gracefulness and generosity, gratitude and humaneness, high ethical standards and good manners, etiquette and morals− all such criteria support the necessity to sincerely show dutifulness vis-à-vis one’s parents. This moral recommendation has been recurrently stated in Almighty Allah’s Holy Book on various occasions and in different verses. Allah (Be He Extolled) says: “And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents…” [Al-Aḥqāf: 15] He equally says (Glory to Him): “And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents…” [Al-Ᾰnkabūt: 8]

In interpreting this verse, Imam Al-Ṭabarī –May Allah have mercy on him− said, “That is to say, Allah ‘enjoined on man’ to observe all commendable types of treatment, and His command regarding the treatment of mankind at large is only part of what He ordered children to observe when it comes to the type of treatment they should reserve for their parents. This is why Allah says, ‘”…and speak good to people [i.e. enjoin righteousness and forbid evil, and say the truth about Muhammad Peace be upon him…]”[Al-Baqarah: 83]; thus, “speak good to people” means only partial aspects of good treatment are reserved for people in general.”

Dutifulness to parents is a divine precept totally observed by prophets and messengers, and adhered to by pious and devout people. In the Holy Verse, Allah (Glory to Him) reports the statement by ‘Īsā (Jesus Christ) −peace be upon him: “And dutiful to my mother, and made me not arrogant, unblest.” [Maryam: 32], along with the description of Yaḥyā Ibn Zakariyā −peace be upon both of them: “And dutiful towards his parents, and he was neither an arrogant nor disobedient (to Allâh or to his parents).” [Maryam: 14]

In their prayers, pious believers constantly beseech Allah in their prayers to send them His blessings both during their lifetime and as a reward in the Hereafter. Allah (Glory Be to Him) mentions the prayer of Noah −peace be upon him: “My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing men and women…” [Nūḥ: 28], and also Ibrahim −peace be upon him− when he supplicated Allah: “Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established.” [Ibrahim: 41]

(The Sheikh reads two lines of poetry paraphrased as follows):

Dutifulness to and respect of one’s parents is a must,
Next only to faith in and worship of Allah.
They gave birth to us and raised us as little children,
They, then, deserve ultimate respect.

Parents are the very joy and adornment of life, its radiant hope and intrinsic value. In their company, suffering is softened, sadness fades away, and sufferings never last thanks to their sincere abundant prayers.

In Prophet Muhammad’s (May Allah’s salat and Peace be upon him) revered tradition, dutifulness to parents is closely associated with the performance of (congregational) prayer which represents the pillar of Islam. Even more significantly, it is given priority over jihad knowing that jihad is perceived in Islam as the camel’s hump (in reference to its vital importance for Muslims). In the two Saḥiḥ Books by Imam Muslim and Imam Bukhari, it is reported that Ibn Mass’ūd –May Allah be pleased with him− said, “I asked Prophet Muhammad (May Allah’s salat and Peace be upon him): ‘Which act is most favoured by Allah?’ He said, “Prayer on time.” I asked again, ‘Then, what comes next?’ He said, ‘Dutifulness to parents.’ So, I said, ‘What comes next?’ ‘Jihad in the cause of Allah’, he replied.”

Thus, dutifulness to parents ranks first even before jihad and military action in the battlefield to combat the enemy. Further evidence is equally derived from the two Saḥiḥ Books by Imam Muslim and Imam Bukhari where a man is reported to have come to Prophet Muhammad (May Allah’s salat and Peace be upon him) to take permission for going to jihad. The Prophet asked him, “Are your parents alive?” The man answered, “Yes.” The Prophet said, “So, your jihad is to be dutiful to them.” This is because dutifulness to parents combines the most refined values and the most beneficial forms of love.

(The Sheikh reads two lines of poetry paraphrased as follows):

These two come exclusively after Allah in rank.
Satisfying them is aspired to and disobeying them is much abhorred.
Never utter a word which might offend them;
Show humility and gratefulness to them in all modesty.

Brothers and sisters in faith!

Due to the magnificence of parents’ rights and the grandeur of their kind acts, Allah (the Great and Almighty) has correlated dutifulness to parents with obedience to Him (Glory to Him). Allah (Blessed be He) says: “Worship Allâh and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents…” [Al-Nissā: 36] Allah (Be He extolled) also says: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.” [Al-Isrā: 23]

Ibn Abbās –May Allah be pleased with him− said, “Three Qur’ānic verses were revealed in parallel with three others.” Then he mentioned: ” And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination. ” [Luqmān: 14]. Therefore, anyone who does not show gratitude to his parents is considered as ungrateful to Allah (Glory and Majesty Be to Him).

In the same vein, Ibn Omar (May Allah be pleased with both of them) once met a man who was carrying his mother on his back while performing circumambulation around the Kā’bah. The man asked Ibn Omar, “O Ibn Omar, do you think I have retuned her maternal favours in all gratitude?” Ibn Omar said, “You haven’t even rewarded a single sigh of hers (i.e. during delivery).” [Narrated by Imam Bukhari in his book entitled Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]

(The Sheikh reads a line of poetry paraphrased as follows):

Do your best to be dutiful to your parents, for it is
A mandatory observance both in private and in public

O Muslim Ummah!

Dutifulness to parents becomes all the more a moral imperative and a religious observance whose performance is vital, especially when parents suffer from certain diseases or from old age. This dutifulness continues even after their death, which secures their children’s higher ranks in the Hereafter. Also, Imam Ahmed reported in his Musnad on the authority of Abu Usaid Al-Sāedi –May Allah be pleased with him− that: “A man of the Ansar (the Prophet’s supporters in Medina) said, ‘O Messenger of Allah! Is there anything I can do to show dutifulness to my parents after their death?’ He said, ‘Yes; their funeral prayer, asking for divine forgiveness to them, implementing their wills and obligations, being good to relatives whose kinship is mediated through them, and entertaining their friends.”

Abdullah Ibn Dinar narrated on the authority of Abdullah Ibn Omar −May Allah be pleased with both of them− that he met a Bedouin on his way to Makkah; so, Abdullah Ibn Omar greeted the man, asked him to mount his own donkey, and gave him a turban he was wearing himself. Ibn Dinar said, “We told Omar: ‘May Allah save you! Bedouins can be easily contented with token gifts.’ Abdullah Ibn Omar replied, ‘This man’s father used to be a close friend of Omar Ibn Al-Khattab’s, and I heard Prophet Muhammad (May Allah’s salat and Peace be upon him) say: “The most rewarding form of dutifulness to parents is when someone keeps in touch with his father’s close friends.” [Narrated by Imam Muslim]

O Ummah of dutifulness and righteousness!

Dutifulness to parents is a deeply-rooted duty in religion and an authentic obligation to be performed by children vis-à-vis their parents. It is insurmountable, inalienable, and resists adjournment. It is incumbent upon sons and daughters to observe it both in times of joviality and affliction. You are actually bound to show dutifulness to your parents throughout your life cycles, regardless of whether your parents blame or warn you out of concern for mending your manners. Remember how many times they offered you sincere prayers, wishing you success secretly and publicly. Thus, showing dutifulness to them is your duty, and treating them properly is your personal responsibility. The Holy Qur’ānic verse reads as follows: “But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly… ” [Luqmān: 15]

In the two Saḥiḥ Books by Imam Muslim and Imam Bukhari, Asmā Bint Abî Bakr –May Allah be pleased with her− narrated: “My mother once visited me when she was still a pagan polytheist. It was during the Prophet’s lifetime (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him). So, I asked the Messenger of Allah (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) for his opinion. I said, ‘My mother voluntarily came to visit me; shall I keep contact with my mother?’ He said, ‘Yes, indeed! Keep contact with your mother.” [An agreed-upon hadith, i.e. reported by both Imam Muslim and Imam Bukhari] That was the case when the mother was a polytheist. What about when she was a Muslim?

(Again, the Sheikh reads three lines of poetry paraphrased as follows):

Even in case they strive to coerce you into polytheism,
Treat them politely, and obey them except in disobedience to Allah.
Ask Allah to have mercy on them
And endow them with profuse favours.
Ask Him to guide their hearts to Islam,
And to reward them generously and beneficently.

We do find exemplary behaviour and eloquent expression in the tradition of our Salaf (earlier model generation of Muslims and contemporaries of Prophet Muhammad [May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him] and his companions). Narrated Alzuhri –May Allah have mercy on his soul: “Al-Hassan Ibn Ali did not use to eat with his mother, although he showed exemplary dutifulness to her. When he was asked about the reason, he said, ‘I don’t want to eat with her for fear that some of the food might appeal to her eyes, and that I unknowingly eat what attracted her eyes; in that case I would have disobeyed her.”

When in the presence of two men, Abu Hurairah –May Allah be pleased with him− asked one of them: “Is this man a relative of yours?” The man answered, “He is called so and so (his father).” Then, Abu Hurairah replied, “Don’t refer to your father or call him by his name! So, don’t say, ‘You, so and so’; but rather call him by his kinship relation. You say, ‘Father or Dad.’”

Thus, Abu Hurairah –May Allah be pleased with him− considered such behaviour a form of disobedience to parents. This is an indication of how respectful and well-bred children should be with their parents. For instance, whenever Abu Hurairah – May Allah be pleased with him− intended to leave home, he would stop by his mother’s door and say, “Hello (Allah’s peace, grace, and blessing be upon you) Mom!” She would reply, “Allah’s peace, grace, and blessing be upon you, son! He would add, “May Allah send His mercy onto you as you reared me when I was a child.” Then, she would reply, “May Allah send His mercy onto you as you are dutiful to me as a grow-up. Abu Hurairah would do the same upon returning home.

Allah is Great! Allah is Great! How splendid such dutifulness is and how great such manners are! By Allah, this dutifulness to parents is more precious than gold itself as it is rendered in such a shining and radiant form that is so typical of our Islamic civilization and the high moral standards of our immaculate religion; a religion that has reached the highest peak of morals by fostering the values of mercy, dutifulness, kindness, and moderation. It is a religion that can by no means be compared with present-day materialistic civilization in terms of its position vis-à-vis the family in general and the parents in particular and how the latter are often abandoned to nursing homes while their sponsors lead a lavish life.

Then, look at the sharp contrast between this kind of dutifulness and those heart-breaking instances of disobedience to parents today, which have gone as far as patricide in such desperate acts of faithlessness marked with disgrace, lack of magnanimity and sense of honour.

Those whose emotions go scarce, conscience withers away, and hearts turn hard (with respect to their parents) are the ones who are bankrupt indeed: You may imagine one of their parents wanting to say (the Sheikh quotes four lines of poetry paraphrased as follows):

I have raised you as an infant and then a young man,
Enjoying great care and affection.
However, when you have grown to be a man,
As I hoped and wished for,
You rewarded me with toughness and harshness
As though you were the one who raised me and cared for me.
So forget about me being your father, for I only wish
You would treat me as a next-door neighbour would.

A Muslim may wish for nothing more than the satisfaction of his Lord (May He be extolled), and this in itself is tied up with the satisfaction of one’s parents. Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn Al Aas – May Allah be pleased with both him and his father‒ reported that the Prophet (May Allah’s Salat and Peace be upon him) said: “The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parents. The anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parents.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi and authenticated by Ibn Ḥabbān and Al-Ḥākim]

(The Sheikh quotes two lines of poetry paraphrased as follows):

Be dutiful to your parents and never say words of disrespect to them
Nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honour. Be thankful to them
And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility as mercy for both of them.
Only then will you pave your way (to Paradise) and store a treasure for yourself.

We seek protection with Allah from the accursed Satan: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour (23) and lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” [Al Isrā: 23-24]

May Allah bless you and me by the Great Qur’ān and benefit us with the guidance of the Master of all the messengers! Having said this, I ask Allah to forgive me, you, our parents and all Muslims for all our sins! So ask Him for forgiveness and repent to Him, for He is All-Forgiving, All-Merciful.