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The Etiquettes of Joking

September 18, 2007
 
A Muslim is naturally expected to be serious, as he was not created for the purpose of joking and amusement. When joking diverts a person from the purpose of their creation, which is to worship Allah SWT, it becomes dispraised. Another reason to make joking dispraised is when it is excessive and makes a person laugh too much which in turn leads to the heart becoming hardened; Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said: “Do not laugh too much because excessive laughter kills your heart.” (Tirmidhi, Ibn Maajah & Ahmad). Waheeb Ibn Al-Ward looked at some people as they where laughing on the day of ‘Eid Al-Fitr and remarked: “If Allah SWT has forgiven these people, then these are not the actions of grateful people; If they were not forgiven, then these are not the actions of those who are fearful.”

A Muslim requires his heart to be alive and tender; a heart which heedlessness cannot find its way into, to be able to strongly execute his struggle against Satan. Excessive joking will lead his heart to such heedlessness. Satan pledged to distract man and misguide him, as Allah SWT says that which translates as: “Iblees [Satan] said [To Allah]: By Your might, I will surely mislead them all. Except, among them, Your chosen servants.”(Saad: 82-83).

Moreover, we must know that heedlessness is a characteristic of the disbelievers. Allah SWT says that which translates as: “Then woe, that Day, to the deniers. Who are in [empty] discourse amusing themselves.” (At-Toor: 11-12). “So leave them to converse vainly and amuse themselves until they meet their Day which they are promised.” (Az-Zukhruf: 83). “Then leave them in their [empty] discourse, amusing themselves.” (Al-An'aam: 91) , Then, on the Day of Judgement, the disbelievers will be asked that which translates as: “What put you into Saqar [i.e., Hellfire].” (Al-Muddaththir: 42) , they will reply with that which translates as: “…We used to enter into vain discourse with those who engaged [in it].” (Al-Muddaththir: 45).

Our righteous predecessors seriously warned against this type heedlessness, Abu Ya'laa used to say: “Are you laughing while your funeral-shroud may be being prepared?” Muhammad Ibn Waasi' asked some people: “ If you Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam a man in Paradise crying, would you be surprised?” they replied ‘Yes', he said: “The one who laughs in this life, not knowing what his consequence is in the next one, is more surprising than that.”

Excessive joking makes one lose their dignity and even the foolish people around the one joking will eventually despise them. ‘ Umar RA said: “ He who jokes, people will despise him.” Muhammad Ibn Al-Munkadir said: “ My mother once told me: son, don't joke with children for that will make you lose your dignity.” Sa'eed Ibn Al-‘Aas said: “ Don't joke with a noble man because he will hate you, or an inferior man because he will humiliate you.”   Husayn Ibn ‘Abdur-Rahmaan said: “ We were told that joking removes one's dignity and breaks friendships.”

The companions of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam were the most serious of people and the least heedless of Allah's commands, yet they used to joke. Bukhari mentioned in his book Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, “The companions used to play with one another by throwing watermelon skins at each other, but when it was time for seriousness, they where real men”. Ibn Sireen was asked about the companions, “ Did they joke?” he replied: “They were just like normal people (i.e. yes they did)”. Abu Salamah Ibn ‘Abur-Rahmaan said, describing the companions: “The companions never exaggerated in seriousness, nor were they heedless; they used to recite poetry in their gatherings and mention some incidents which took place during their pre-Islamic period and laugh, but if they Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam any action against Islam, they would become furious.” (Ibn Abu Shaybah).

Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam J oked with his wives and children. Sayyadatina Aa'ishah RA n arrated: “ Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam went on one of his trips and I accompanied him; he told his companions: “proceed ahead” while he and I lagged behind, then he said to me: “Let us race” so we did and I won – and he did not say anything. After some time, when I became heavier in weight, I went with him on another trip, and I had forgotten about the race. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam told his companions, “proceed ahead” while he and I lagged behind, then he said to me: “Let us race” so we did and he won and started laughing and said, “This one makes up for the first time” (Ahmad). Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said: “The best among you is the best in dealing with their family – and I am the best among you in dealing with their family” 

Sayyadatina Aa'ishah, RA, was asked: “ How was Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam when he was alone with his wives?” she replied: “ He was just like any other man, except that he was the most kind, gentle and cheerful of them.” “ Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam used to line up the children of Bani Al-‘Abbaas and others and say, “Race towards me, and whoever wins will get something” so they would race towards him and he would roll over on the ground and the children would climb on his chest and roll on his back; and he would hug and kiss them.'' (Ahmad).

Sayyadatina Aa'ishah RA, said: “ Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam was in my house and Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallamdah, another of his wives, was there also. I had made some food, served it and asked Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallamdah to eat it. She replied: ‘I don't want it'. I said ‘I swear by Allah SWT that either you will eat or I will cover your face in it.' She replied: ‘I will not taste it'. So I took some of the food in my hand from the plate and splashed it on her face, while Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam was sitting between us. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam lowered his legs so that I could not get at Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallamdah, then she took a portion of the food and covered my face in it. During all this, Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam was laughing.” (Abu Ya'laa).

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