By Sheikh Ali ibn Abdur-Rahman al-Huthaifi – 29 Safar 1437

His Eminence Sheikh Ali ibn Abdur-Rahman al-Huthaifi, may Allah preserve him, delivered the Friday Khutbah entitled, “The Benefits and Rulings of Marriage,” in which he talked about marriage, stating that it is one of the ways of Allah, Exalted be He, in His creation as well as one of the practices of Allah’s prophets and messengers. He also shed some light on its benefits and virtues, encouraged helping young people to get married, and mentioned some of the main Islamic rulings that concern every Muslim, man or woman, in this regard.

Praise be to Allah. Praise be to Allah, Who has created everything and then proportioned it, and Who has measured preordainments for everything and guided mankind to the right path. I praise my Lord and thank Him. I turn to Him in repentance and ask Him for forgiveness. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah alone, Who has no partners, the All-High, the Most High, and I bear witness that our prophet and master, Muhammad, is His servant and chosen messenger. O Allah! Bestow Your prayers, peace, and blessings upon Your servant and messenger Muhammad and upon his family and his righteous, pious Companions.

Now then,
Fear Allah as He has commanded you to do and avoid what He has forbidden and warned you against.

Servants of Allah!
It is the will of your Lord that this world should be populated in accordance with His law and decree to an appointed term. This can only be achieved through co-operation, harmony, and unity among people, as well as building life on the basis of the wise, just, beneficial laws that Allah has set for this universe. Allah has made man His trustee on the earth so that he can develop it, populate it, and worship Allah on it. Man’s happiness lies in being obedient to Allah, whereas his misery lies in showing disobedience to Him. Allah, Exalted be He, says:
“And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, fears Allah, and keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful.” (An-Nur: 52)

Allah, Might and Majesty be to Him, also says:
“And whosoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger (Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, and transgresses His limits, He will cast him into the Fire, to abide therein; and he shall have a disgraceful torment.” (An-Nisa’: 14)

Allah, Exalted be He, also says:
“And if the truth had been in accordance with their desires, verily, the heavens and the earth, and whosoever is therein would have been corrupted!…” (Al-Mu’minun: 71)

One of the first steps that people usually take in this life and one of the first phases they go through in it is to get married. For Muslims, this must be in accordance with the teachings of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger. This union between the husband and the wife creates co-operation, compassion, and harmony between them, and their interests and benefits become intertwined. Furthermore, they satisfy their desires and enjoy lawful pleasures in a noble, constructive way, and strive together to achieve honourable aims and goals. It is in this way that their earnings will be blessed and their offspring will be righteous.

Matrimony is the umbrella under which generations are raised and the first school in which the child is educated. It is the institution that guides the young to the path of virtue, reform, and development. The impact that the parents exert on their children is a permanent one. When the parents are righteous, they will constitute the building block for a righteous society and will be the source of compassion, mercy, affection, care, and benevolence for their children. The parents are also the basis for kinship and family relationships that ensure support, mercy, solidarity, communication, and mutual love and provide protection against the adversities of life.

Marriage is an old tradition which has countless benefits and endless blessings. It will also remain as an institution whose benefits will never cease. Marriage was also one of the traditions followed by prophets and messengers. Allah, Exalted be He, says:
“And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him), and made for them wives and offspring. …” (Ar-Ra‘d: 38)

Regarding the qualities of the believers, Allah, Exalted be He, also says:
“And those who say: “Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun (the pious)”.” (Al-Furqan: 74)

Allah, Exalted be He, orders Muslims to marry. He says:
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. …” (An-Nur: 32)

Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “O young men! Whoever among you can afford the expenses of marriage should get married; for marriage is more likely to make you lower your gaze and guard your chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for fasting is a shield for him [against immoral practices]” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim). These expenses include the dowry paid by the groom to the bride (mahr), the expenses of marital life, and the marital home. Those who have the desire to marry but cannot afford its expenses should fast, for fasting is a source of rewards and a temporary means of weakening sexual desire until Allah provides them with the means for marriage.

Anas ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, said,
Some of the Companions asked the wives of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, about the acts that he performed in private. Some of them said, “I will not marry women.” Some others said, “I will not eat meat.” Yet others said, “I will not sleep in bed.” When news of that reached the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, he praised Allah and glorified Him, and then said, “Why do some people say such-and-such? As for me, I pray at night and sleep, I fast on some days and do not fast on others, and I marry women. He who turns away from my Sunnah is not one of my followers.” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)

In Islam, it is obligatory for a Muslim young man to get married if he has the desire and can afford marriage expenses. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Marry women who are loving and fertile, for I shall contend with the other prophets for the number of followers on the Day of Resurrection” (Reported by Ahmad and classified as authenticated (sahih) by Ibn Hibban on the authority of Anas ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him).

Marriage helps ensure purity and chastity for the husband and the wife and serves to protect society and safeguard its members from moral delinquency. Allah, Exalted be He, says:

“And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of their prescribed period, do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands, if they mutually agree on reasonable basis. This (instruction) is an admonition for him among you who believes in Allah and the Last Day. That is more virtuous and purer for you. Allah knows and you know not.” (Al-Baqarah: 232)

Marriage provides security for society against the spread of adultery, fornication, and sodomy. Adultery and fornication never become rife in any nation but Allah strikes its people with poverty, destitution, and disgrace, as well as diseases and plagues that were not among their ancestors. In addition, those who commit adultery and fornication will be subjected to disgrace and severe torment in the hereafter. Allah, Exalted be He, says:

“And those who invoke not any other ilah (god) along with Allah, nor kill such person as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse – and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace.” (Al-Furqan: 68-69)

Similarly, none commits sodomy but his heart becomes corrupt, his pure nature becomes perverted, his soul turns wicked, and his manners get depraved. He will also receive the severest type of punishment in this world and in the hereafter. We know about the severe punishment inflicted upon the people of Prophet Lut (Lot), who were infamous for committing sodomy, which had not been inflicted upon any other nation before them. Stones as hard as baked clay rained down upon them, and Angel Jibril (Gabriel), peace be upon him, lifted their cities high in the sky and then dropped them down, turning them upside down. In addition to the stones that Allah rained down upon them, they will also be punished by abiding in Hellfire for ever.

Due to the heinousness of this crime, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “May Allah curse those who commit the immoral acts of the people of Lut! May Allah curse those who commit the immoral acts of the people of Lut! May Allah curse those who commit the immoral acts of the people of Lut!”

Indeed, marriage provides protection against adultery, fornication, and sodomy. It purifies the heart and the soul and produces good offspring that successively worship Allah and populate and develop the earth. Islam enjoins the prospective husband to select a righteous wife who is religious, who has good manners and moral character, and who has been raised in a good environment. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A woman may be married for four reasons: for her money, for her family status, for her beauty, and for her religion, so win the religious woman, may you be blessed!” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim on the authority of Abu-Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him).

A woman should also choose a religious man who has good manners and moral character. It is reported that a man once came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and asked him, “O Messenger of Allah! To whom should I marry my daughter?” He said, “Marry her to a pious man; if he loves her he will honour her, and if he hates her, he will not oppress her.” The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, also said, “When someone whose religion and character you accept proposes to a girl under your care, let him marry her. If you do not do so, there will be tribulations in the land and widespread mischief” (Reported by at-Tirmidhi on the authority Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him).

A girl should not be forced to marry a suitor that she does not accept; rather she should be asked for her consent first, for the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A previously married woman should not be married except after being consulted, and a virgin should not be married except after her permission is given.” The Companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah! How can she give her permission?” He said, “By keeping silent” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim on the authority of Abu-Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him). If the suitor is a suitable match and the girl is competent to get married, her guardian must not delay her marriage, for this guardianship is a trust about which he will be questioned on the Day of Resurrection. He must not reject a suitor under the pretext that she needs to continue her studies, for this matter is to be decided by the woman and her husband, who will help her continue her studies if they both wish to do so.

The guardian of a working woman may not reject suitors in order to seize her salary. Due to such greed and exploitation, the girl will lose many opportunities and will be deprived of begetting children, which is in fact a crime perpetrated against her. She may also invoke Allah’s curse upon her guardian and thus he will not prosper in this life, nor will the money he has seized from her be of any benefit to him in his grave.

It is recommended that the would-be husband and wife perform the istikharah prayer, whereby they seek Allah’s guidance regarding this matter, and recite the supplication that the Prophet taught us to recite afterwards. Also recommended is moderation regarding the amount of the dowry given by the man to the wife (mahr), so as to provide benefit to the wife without placing a financial burden on the husband. For the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The best dowry is the most affordable one” (Reported by Abu Dawud and al-Hakim on the authority of ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Amir, may Allah be pleased with him). Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, said, “When Ali married Fatimah, the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said to him, “Give her something.” He said, “I do not have anything.” He said, “Where is your coat of mail then?” (Reported by Abu Dawud and an-Nasa’i, and classified by al-Hakim as authenticated (sahih)). A coat of mail in those days was very cheap, costing only a few Dirhams (silver coins), and it was the dowry given to Fatima, may Allah be pleased with her, the best of all women in the world. Stories about the righteous predecessors with regard to facilitating the requirements of marriage are too many to tell here.

If the marriage is consummated, then Allah has provided the husband and the wife with much good. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever gets married has completed half of his religion. Then he should fear Allah regarding the remaining half” (Reported by at-Tabarani in his al-Awsat on the authority of Anas ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him). Both spouses should maintain the bond of matrimony so that it may not be violated, for it is a solemn covenant and a strong tie between the husband and the wife.

The husband should give his wife her due rights. For instance, he should prepare an appropriate home for her and provide her with sufficient expenses. He should not leave her to spend from her own money even if she is rich or employed, unless she wishes to do so, in which case she will definitely be rewarded for that and Allah will compensate her for whatever she spent. The husband should also live honourably with his wife and treat her well. In no way should he hurt her verbally or physically. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The best among you is the best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family” (Reported by Ibn Majah and al-Hakim on the authority of Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him and his father).

The wife should also fulfil her obligations towards her husband, live honourably with him, and obey him as long as this does not involve any act of disobedience to Allah. She should not cause harm to him and should provide his children with good upbringing. She should also treat his parents and his relatives well. She should equally safeguard his property and his honour in his absence. Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Al-‘As, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Allah will not look at a woman who does not thank her husband while she cannot do without him” (Reported by al-Hakim, who said, “It has an authenticated chain of transmission”).

The husband and the wife should settle any differences between them right from the start before they increase and the gap between them widens, leading to divorce, which is the highest hope for Satan. The result will be family breakdown, which will negatively affect the children, who may become homeless and deviant as a result of family disintegration. The two spouses must show patience towards each other, since patience is the best remedy to all ills, and its consequences are praiseworthy. Allah, Exalted be He, says:
“… and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.” (An-Nisa’: 19)

Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A believing man will not hate a believing woman (i.e. his wife), for if he dislikes one of her traits, he will be pleased by another” (Reported by Muslim).

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
Iblis (Satan) places his throne on the sea and says to his devils, “If any of you misguides a Muslim today, I will bring him nearer to me and place the crown upon his head.” Then, one of the devils comes and says, “I kept tempting so-and-so until he committed such-and-such a sin.” Iblis says, “You did nothing. He will soon repent.” Another one comes and says, “I kept tempting so-and-so until he committed such-and-such a sin.” Iblis says, “You did nothing.” A third one comes and says, “I kept tempting so-and-so until he divorced his wife.” Iblis then says, “You are the one indeed!” Then he brings him nearer to him and places the crown upon his head. (Reported by Muslim)

This is only because divorce has dire consequences and leads to numerous evils, with the result that the couple and their children can be subject to severe trials and various forms of deviation. We ask Allah, Blessed and Exalted be He, to protect us from Satan and his traps.

Should anyone find it hard to get married in the beginning, he should commit himself to chastity and patience. He should protect himself from masturbation and its harmful effects. He must equally guard against adultery, fornication, drugs, and all perverted acts until Allah eases marriage for him. Allah, Exalted be He, says:
“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His Bounty …” (An-Nur: 33)

People should not spend money extravagantly on wedding feasts and should be moderate in this respect. Allah, Exalted be He, says:
“… But spend not wastefully (your wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift. Verily, spendthrifts are brothers of the Shayatin (devils) …” (Al-Isra’: 26-27)

If any food remains after the wedding feast is over, it is unlawful to throw it away as waste. Rather, it should be given to those who need it and benefit from it, and indeed there are many such people in this world.

Allah, Exalted be He, says:
“And Allah has made for you Azwaj (mates or wives) of your own kind, and has made for you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed on you good provision. Do they then believe in false deities and deny the Favour of Allah (by not worshipping Allah Alone)?” (An-Nahl : 72)

May Allah bless you and me with the Great Qur’an and make us benefit from its verses and wise words and benefit from the guidance and right sayings of the Imam of all Messengers. I have said what you have heard and I ask forgiveness of Allah, the Most Great, the Sublime, for myself, for you, and for all Muslims. Ask Allah for forgiveness. He is the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.