Teaching the family
———————

This is an obligation which the head of the household must undertake, in obedience to the command of Allah (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones…” [Al-Tahreem 66:6]. This ayah (verse) is the basic principle regarding the teaching and upbringing of one’s family, and enjoining them to do what is good and forbidding them to do what is evil. There follow some of the comments of the Mufassireen on this ayah, in so far as it pertains to the duties of the head of the household.

Qutaadah said: “He should command them to obey Allah, and forbid them to disobey Him, and direct them in accordance with the commands of Allah, and help them to do that.”

Dahhaak and Muqaatil said: “It is the Muslim’s duty to teach his family, including relatives and female slaves, what Allah has enjoined upon them and what He has forbidden.”

‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “Teach them and discipline them.”

Al-Tabari (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “We must teach our children and wives the religion and goodness, and whatever they need of good manners. If the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to urge the teaching of female servants, who were slaves, what do you think about your children and wives, who are free?”

Al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his Sahih: he quoted the Hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “There are three who will have two rewards: … a man who has a female servant whom he teaches good manners and teaches her well, and teaches her knowledge, and teaches her well, then he frees her and marries her: he will have two rewards.”

In the midst of all a man’s activities, work and other commitments, he may forget to allow himself time for teaching his wife. One solution to this is to allocate some time for the family, and even for others such as relatives, to hold a study-circle at home. He can let everyone know the time and encourage them to come regularly, so that it will be an ongoing commitment for him and for them. Something similar happened at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).

What we learn from this is that women should be taught in their houses, and we see how keen the women of the Sahabah were to learn. Directing teaching efforts to men alone, and not to women, is a serious shortcoming on the part of Dai’yahs and heads of households.