Opinion | 2014.10.27 | 2 Muharram 1436 H

Surely if the only ambition of women is to get married, statistics of depression would rise due to the number of single people out there writes Saajida Malvina.

The question crossed my mind as to the role of a woman being the perfect bride, wife and thereafter a mother? If that was our sole aim would we be any different from the Spanish, French or the English women from the West  who were groomed with good mannerisms to be  just the perfect wife and mother, whilst Muslim women were in the forefront of propagating Deen.

An example of this is in our mother Sayyidina Ayesha (ra), who had vast knowledge in jurisprudence and genealogy. She was also an expert in arithmetic and medicine.  This illustrious young woman also taught the noble companions of Nabi (S). Another example is the wife of the author of Badaai us Sanaai who was such a great jurist of her time that at one stage the issuing of fatwa was largely dependent on her. These are but two examples of females who have illuminated the history of Islam, and there are many such examples. 

Surely if the only ambition of women was to get married, statistics of depression would rise due to the number of single people out there.  I am in no way against marriage which is a sunnah of almost all the Prophets and greatly emphasised in the traditions of Nabi (S) and through it many blessings are achieved, including protection from outside harm. Realistically speaking however even though it’s every girls dream to get married, it is not necessarily her taqdeer to marry. This is a choice not made by her, but a decree by Almighty Allah alone. There’s no need for society to pass snide comments or give her unwelcomed sympathy. No one knows the challenges she faces, yet are quick to pass judgment. 

If a woman only aspires to marry and have kids, soon after this dream is achieved boredom sets in and women start competing in deco for their homes, putting untold pressure on their husbands who try to fulfill this. Also gossip or unnecessary chitchat and the trend of wasting time on social networks, at times even having Haram relationships, cause a disastrous effect on their lives. This is all done due to free time not utilised properly and the non- cementing of correct goals.

Humankind has been not been created in this world, “except to worship Him”. Our primary role is to serve our Creator and obey His commands. Hence, one of the ways is to serve humanity and be an asset to Deen especially in today’s self –  centered world wherein a person’s only concern is himself/herself materialistically. 

Women have many roles to play in society. Some of those are related to her domestic life such as marital or child rearing responsibilities, as well as others related to serving humanity and playing a meaningful role in society based upon the lives of great role models of the past such as Nusayba (ra), Rabia Basriya (ra) or Zainab Ghazali. Women should occupy themselves, and Islam has not forbidden her from studying or doing other matters as long as her intention is correct and the laws of Islam are not contravened.

Likewise, children are a bounty of Allah and at times couples are unable to have children for whatever reason. Some women feel they cannot achieve their primary role and at times start losing hope in the mercy of Allah (SWT) feeling useless. Zakarriya AS and Ebrahim AS initially couldn’t get children until they made fervent dua. Allah says that some He gives only boys or only girls, whilst some both, and others nothing. Our primary focus is not marriage or motherhood but rather it is pleasing our Creator through worshipping Him and fulfilling our obligation, which is mandatory on each every believer. 

Let us as women set the trend of attaining beneficial knowledge so we may become assets to society at large and leave a valuable legacy not to serve just as an inspiration, but as a means of emancipation from the hell fire and sawaab-jaariya in our eternal lives. Ameen.

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