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[LISTEN] Don’t Compare Your Child to Others

July 04, 2022

Umm Muhammed Umar

Radio Islam spoke to author, public speaker, trainee performance coach, Junaid Bhayat about developing hidden talents in children. Research highlights that nearly 5% of kids have special talents from childhood. Some recognize those talents at a very tender age, which gives them infinite satisfaction and adventure.

Bhayat said that a book written by three major organizations – Harvard University, Stanford University and NASA – Break Point and Beyond revealed that 1500 children aged three to five years old were tested to see how many had creative genius and genius capability. They found that 98% of the children had genius capability. Bhayat said, “the test(s) came to the conclusion that every single person is born with certain skill sets, certain talents; it just that it’s never explored or never nurtured.”

The same children were tested every five years for a period of 20 years. Findings showed that they kept losing genius capability and the talents and skills that they were born with. Bhayat said, “So, the research and the scientists are telling us, yes, most of the time, most people have the talent, they have the gift, they have the skills, they have the genius capability, but it fades off as time goes by because nobody nurtures it.”

Bhayat advised that every parent have a growth plan, a development plan, for their child. He advised that from babyhood, parents note what strengths, talents, skills, and passions their child has: “you need to document these things and write these things down. Then you need to push the child in that field.”  Bhayat added, “So it’s a matter of keeping track of what your child is good at…… we’re not taking a proactive approach.” He said parents should also watch their children’s sports achievements, as they could take up that sport full time, and get paid for it.

Some of the mistakes that parents sometimes make, especially with very little children is that when they do notice that their child is good at something they tend to give the child more work to do regarding that. However, a child cannot comprehend why they have been handed more worksheets etc for something that they’re already good at. Bhayat said that parents do not know how to manage the talent and the skills that they find in a child.  He said, “you’ve got to get the right people to manage them.”

According to Bhayat the biggest factor in killing off a child’s talent was comparison was. He said that when a parent compares one child to another, when you when a parent compares a child to another child, the self-esteem of that child becomes tattered, and the child begins losing the belief in their own ability, because they have been compared to somebody else. He advised, “compare the child to the child themselves: where were you last month? Where were you last year? Where were you last term? And where are you now?” he added, “we compare like that but don’t ever compare the child to another person.”

 

 

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