By Sheikh Salah al-Budair – 14 Muharram 1436

His Eminence Sheikh Salah al-Budair, may Allah preserve him, delivered the Friday Khutbah entitled, “Grudges and Damaging Relations among People”, in which he talked about the danger of harbouring grudges against others, stating that this is one of the causes of severing relations among people. He also urged Muslims to have goodwill towards one another.

Praise be to Allah. Praise be to Allah, Who chooses whomsoever He wills from among mankind, purifies them from grudges, spite, malevolence, and sins, and endows them, by His grace, with sound understanding and wisdom. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah alone, Who has no partners and Who has lavished upon us His abundant favours and great blessings. I also bear witness that our prophet and master, Muhammad, is His servant and messenger, through whom He abolished idol worship and eradicated the landmarks of disbelief, stone altars, and divining arrows. May Allah bestow His bountiful peace and blessings upon him and upon his family and noble Companions, continuously and perpetually.

Now then Muslims,
Fear Allah, for fear of Allah is the best of all gains and obedience to Him is the most honourable source of pride.
“O You who Believe! Keep your duty to Allah and fear Him, and speak (always) the truth. He will direct you to do righteous good deeds and will forgive you your sins. And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him), he has indeed achieved a great achievement (i.e. he will be saved from the Hell-fire and will be admitted to Paradise).” (Al-Ahzab: 70-71)

O Muslims!
Love and affection can never exist among people who harbour hatred against one another. Whoever nurtures enmity and is bent on revenge will live in torment and will suffer severe distress. Nothing can damage relations among people more seriously than grudges; they are the inner hatred and the evil that resides within people. Grudges destroy civilisations, drain wealth, impede conciliation, sever bonds of friendship, and incite fighting and war. A grudge, even if it is old, Is just like mange; it disappears for some time before it finally spreads. How soon it may take place! How quickly it takes shape! How close it is! And How mercilessly it spreads!

The worst thing to be inherited is hatred. It is instilled in the hearts of children and is passed on to grandchildren only to remain alive for ages. A poet once said:
“Grudges were fomented by our ancestors,
And they will never die as long as parents have children.”

Whoever always holds grudges, seeks revenge, and gives vent to his malice will certainly fall into decline and lose respect and self-esteem, and flames of fury will burn his heart. By contrast, whoever abandons hatred and grudges will lead a life of safety, make more friends, and gain more supporters. He will never be in need of anybody and will be secure from loss. Whenever the heart is engulfed by feelings of animosity and hostility, it starts to ache and suffer from defects. It will then lose its purity and go through long, incurable afflictions.

Some people desert others altogether if they disagree with them, and if they argue, they resort to foul language; thus they accuse their adversaries of innumerable misdeeds, intend to avenge themselves on them, initiate harm, and show hostility towards them. A useful piece of advice and wise saying in this respect is the hadith of the master of all wise men ever, Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, who said, “Whoever wishes to be delivered from Hellfire and admitted into Paradise should die with faith in Allah and the Last Day and should treat the people as he wishes to be treated by them” (Reported by Muslim; part of the hadith narrated by ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As, may Allah be pleased with him and his father). That is to say, he should do as he would be done by. In this way, disputes will be settled, discord and enmity will be removed, and all grudges will dissipate. O You who bear grudges and conceal malice in your heart! With such feelings you will not ascend any heights, achieve any glory, find any right guidance, or attain any happiness.

Leave aside all grudges and get rid of them,
For grudges certainly undermine kinship ties.
Do not listen to the one who sows calumnies amongst you,
Claiming that his poison is sincere advice.
He sends forth his scorpions to start a war among you,

Just as the jugular sends blood to the other veins.
O son! Leave arguing aside as long as you live,
And avoid foolishness; it is of no avail.
Do not bear any grudges against your kin,
For grudges sever kinship ties.
Never think forbearance will ever degrade you,
For the forbearing are the mightiest and most honourable of all people.

Therefore, abandon hostilities and choose the path of forgiveness. Counter foolishness with forbearance and poise. Never respond to provocations and instigations of any sort, for doing so will make you stumble and fall.

“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah orders the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly) then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.” (Fussilat: 34)

Showing kindness to those who offend you brings them nearer to you, being lenient to them makes them abandon their evil intentions, and forgiving them is bound to win them over.

Nothing could put an end to foolishness better than forbearance,
With which the forbearing counter wrong conduct.
Do not sever ties with a brother for a mistake,
For only the kind-hearted would forgive sins.

Lenience is better than disagreement, blandishment is better than conflict, reconciliation is better than fighting, and forbearance is better than suffering. The essence of good manners is to suppress anger. The noble people are characterised by pardoning, forgiveness, benevolence, and generosity. None can repress his anger, pardon the offenders, show forbearance with the ignorant, and bear harm except those who are truly noble, wise, and knowledgeable and who have sound understanding of religion.

Harmony cannot coexist with rage and vehemence, respect cannot remain with anger and confrontations, and peace cannot be established amidst clashes and desires for revenge. Those who seek revenge will end up wasting their time, losing their friends, and feeling lonely as all their companions will desert them. Those who put a frown on their faces, give others the cold shoulder, show animosity towards people, and abstain from pardoning them will definitely sink into misery and go through utter frustration.

Stubbornness, rudeness, and the deliberate intent to offend and upset others are abominable acts that are bound to arouse bitter feelings, incite anger, cause hatred, and sever the ties of goodwill and unity. Therefore, beware of these traits and avoid them.

“And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Shaitan (Satan) verily, sows a state of conflict and disagreements among them. Surely, Shaitan (Satan) is to man a plain enemy.” (Al-Isra: 53)

O Allah! Guide us to do and say that which is right. O Allah! Guide us to do and say that which is right, and lead us to the right path, O You, to Whom belong this world and the hereafter and to Whom is the final return!