2014-08-06

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“Parting Ways”

In just two days I would be married. I was extremely nervous and excited eagerly anticipating my new life and all that it meant to me. But tonight I was here in this auditorium, my blood pumping and my body humming with nervous excitement. This was the culmination of six weeks of hard work – a new challenge, but inevitably the growth of three women. We have a long journey ahead of us, but equipped with the right attitude and the understanding of these mind frames we can develop and soar! Insha Allah.

Hope you enjoy the closing ceremony and never stop believing in yourself!

Love & Coffee Macrons
Aisha <3

We had sat in this same auditorium hall, a mere six weeks ago as strangers with differing opinions and diverse backgrounds. Today the air was different. We sat no more as girls fighting to be heard, but as women united in one voice. The beauty of education is in its essence – the ability to grow. And over the last six weeks we have grown in leaps and bounds.

We all listened as the third group approached the stage. They were a loud, feminist group and were lobbing for men to be stay-at-home husbands as well as equal rights and obligatory education for all women. Almost the entire auditorium shook their heads in wonder. In theory it may sound really wonderful but seriously? REAL life is a different equation altogether. The next group were a group of housewives, talking about the phenomenal act of sacrifice that every woman should make so that their children could live the best lives possible. “A woman’s sacrifice is all the education she needs!” they punted. Whilst they described marital bliss, the smile on a baby’s face and supporting one’s spouse, I noticed a split audience. Some were nodding their heads vehemently whilst others rolled their eyes in disgust. In that moment Raeesa, Aisha and I locked eyes and we realised that the pre-planned presentation had to be thrown out the window. This audience and the world at large needed something else entirely.

Finally it was our turn. We ran onto the stage and Aisha with a broad smile on her face screamed at the audience: “So do you guys think every woman should leave her kids at home and be high-powered career woman?” The crowd went crazy – some shouted out in the positive, and others booed like crazy. “Okay, so then you guys think that a womans place is barefoot and pregnant, only fit to be a cook and cleaner to her family?” she screamed.

Again the crowd went crazy, the same mixed reaction as before. And that is when Raeesa and I stepped out in the spotlight. We waited for the crowd of women to calm down, and then Raeesa said: “This confusion and noise that you are hearing is but a fraction of the turmoil that faces us women every day. We want to be high powered career women; mummies to soft babies and most of all have well-run houses and look like models to our husbands. Over the past six weeks, my friends and , have developed in ways that I had never thought possible. Just take me for example…”. She took a deep breath and the entire crowd fell silent: “I have been studying to become a doctor, doing my internship and working like crazy. Yet after accomplishing it all I felt so empty inside as If there was something missing. I loved my job, but I kept having this internal fight with myself. I used the fact that society was hindering me to specialise further to hide my real feelings – I am a successful career woman, yet I want to have a partner, children as well as a fulfilling career.”

Raeesa stepped backwards and it was then I saw that many of the young women present were deep in reflection. Aisha stepped forward and in a quiet voice said: “My friend here has the exact opposite problem that I face. Six weeks ago I sat here, not caring about my intrinsic valued to my family circle as well as the world at large. Stereotypes and social pressures have limited my growth. I am a dynamic public speaker and this is my dream to be a motivational speaker, yet I am limited by the expectations of my family. My friends Raeesa and Saaliha have, with a lot of cat fights and drama helped me understand that stereotypes are part of any and every society. I mean, every one of us sitting here may have a mother-in- law who thinks we don’t know how to cook well enough, or a mother who thinks we do not know how to clean well enough or bring up children in the correct way.” The audience all laughed and nodded in agreement. “Well, the question I have come to understand is not: “Is education a right for every woman? Rather, “How are we women going to balance our roles in society and our basic need for self –actualization?”

In the eerie silence, I opened my laptop and began my closing speech. “Boko Haram, the Muslim militant group has under the guise of religion, questioned our place in society as women, our basic right to education and our need to be contributing members of our communities. This is unequivocally challenged in the Quran, wherein the first verses are “Read!” and the sayings of our Prophet (s): “Seeking of knowledge is compulsory upon every Muslim.” Furthermore, The beloved Prophet (s) own wife, Aisha (ra) was a Jurist of note. In a contained and conducive environment. That said, groups such as Boko Haram can use these kinds of issues to further their own cause simply because we as women have not found our own balance.”

“Raeesa has come to the realisation that she can be wife and mom as well as a doctor. Aisha has to keep fighting those judgemental mothers in laws and aunts. She knows that in that world, a three-cornered savoury holds more value than a degree, but slowly even with readin, seminars and opening up her mind, she knows she can change old mind frames. As for myself, I am at the pinnacle of my life, battling the “I know better” and “I’m going to be different mind frame”. I have a lot to learn, but as a young woman the most valuable lesson I have learnt is that a woman’s education is never limited to a classroom. Its relevance in her life is dependent upon her core principles and values.”

We all stood in the middle of the stage as the crowd went crazy. We smiled at each other knowing that the road ahead was a long and challenging one. The words of Brigham Young flashing across the screen:

“You educate a man, you educate a man. You educate a woman you educate a generation.”

~~~
Points for Discussion:
1. “And stay in your homes” – The Quranic ideal explained.
2. The difference between Muslim and Islamic groups.
3. Lifelong Learning and learning to Unlearn.
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Download Podcast: [Discussion Points]