2014-07-16

(((Listen to the DRAMA Part 3)))

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“WASTED DEGREES…THE ENGINEER HOUSEWIFE”

Hey guys. I hope your minds are in pondering mode. It’s amazing isn’t it, just how many obstacles we face as women. You’ve met Raeesa – now it’s time to meet the Einstein of our group. Saaliha is at the pinnacle of every young woman’s life. Will she fulfil her dreams, or will she bow to a society, judgmental of her culture and religion? Saaliha may have the world at her feet and she has taken all the correct steps to ensure her bright future. However like many of us can attest to – it is sometimes just not enough!

Love & creamy Pistachio macrons
Aisha <3

Finally, finally it has arrived. I was so excited my acceptance letter has arrived. I had applied for chemical engineering, civil engineering and electrical engineering. I had just thrown in journalism and law as my last two options. I had been so certain that I would be accepted into engineering. I worked night and day for the last two years and had received nine distinctions. Before I opened the letter, I already knew that I was going to make it. I hadn’t received the usual sms, but then again that was normal in the engineering department. As I opened the letter, the first thing my eyes fell on was, “we regret to inform you…”

My heart plummeted and I was angry to see that I had not been accepted for any of the engineering courses. I immediately ran to my father and showed him the letter with tears in my eyes. He comforted me and promised to phone his friend at the department.

I walked into Spur in Fordsburg where I had agreed to meet up with Aisha and Raeesa to complete task two of the Boko Haram awareness programme. It was surprising really what fast friends we had become. Just a few short weeks ago we were all at each other’s throats and now we were fast becoming close friends. Raeesa took one look at me and said: “You’ve been crying girl, no amount of makeup can conceal puffy eyes. Tell us what’s happening – Aisha is getting so confident here, maybe she can break some bones for you.”

I smiled half-heartedly and explained about the rejection letter and that there was no space in engineering and I had applied too late. Raeesa threw her head back and laughed. “No space in engineering! Hah that is a load of nonsense if I have ever heard one”.

The waitress came to take our orders, I ordered the biggest platter I could find with tons of chips. I needed to eat my sadness away. After we had completed our orders, I asked Raeesa: “What do you mean my dad said he would speak to his friend at the department but I haven’t heard anything yet.”

“Well, I don’t know if this is correct,” said Aisha “but my cousin was also rejected from the Engineering faculty a few years ago. I remember my mom saying that it’s because they are biased against Muslim girls.”

“Not exactly biased: but it’s kind of a known fact that they are more picky when it comes to accepting Muslim girls. My professor always joked about his brilliant female (Muslim) students. He would say that they made the best of students, but sadly never applied their learning to the real world. So, you could say that the department tends to accept ‘us’ freely into humanities and social work, and keep spots in engineering for the … well, people who are going to actually be a benefit to the faculty as a whole.”

I was so upset as I heard this.“That is open discrimination! I will get my dad to take this up. There are many other girls that I know who have studied engineering. And every second Muslim boy I know is doing the same! How come they are not being discriminated against??”

Aisha looked at me and said: “Are they really guilty of discrimination when Muslim girls go through the four years, and then generally stay at home, or drop out in the final year to get married? They do take many Muslim girls, but maybe we are in reality guilty of making the world doubt our credibility by not placing enough importance on our goals – both secular, societal and Islamic. Most of my friends who have studied pharmacy, medicine, Occupational Therapy and equally so – an Aalimah Course, have gotten married, and are more than happy not to work. Studying is basically a back-up plan if something goes wrong in their marriages.”

I sat looking at my newest friends. I couldn’t believe how naïve I had been up until recently. I was so lost in my studying and my perfect results, I didn’t realise that there was an actual world out there that I would be living in. I had realised that not every woman could study or should stud. Education came in different forms and each created a different impact. But more importantly, I learnt that we as Muslim women, face many prejudices from within our own communities, and by the limitations we set on our own growth.

I went home feeling more grounded, wondering if I had actually thought about the working and giving back aspect of a degree. No more coffees, spur lunches and languid carefree afternoon get togethers…

~~~
Points for Discussion:

1. Is a degree a backup plan? What about Aalimah studies then? Are we going to university to find a husband – Alluding here to discussions on Princeton Mom, Susan Patton author of Marry Smart: Advice for Finding THE ONE.

She urges women to “find a husband on campus before you graduate. She suggests that girls “keep in touch with the men [they] meet in college, especially the super smart ones” in order to snag them later.

Discuss her claims:
“You’re not getting any younger, but the competition for the men you’d be interested in marrying most definitely is.”
Susan says: “Those men who are as well-educated as you are often interested in younger, less challenging women.

“Could you marry a man who isn’t your intellectual or professional equal?”
Susan says: “Sure. But the likelihood is that it will be frustrating to be with someone who just can’t keep up with you or your friends.

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Download Podcast: [Discussion Points]