2014-07-09

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“EDUCATED MUCH?”

Asalamualaikum guys. It’s me Aisha again. Well I guess could call myself agony-aunt Aisha. Alhamdulillah, this last week has been so eventful and challenging. I’d like you guys to meet my friend Dr Raeesa. She’s definitely is a strong woman – I admire her, yet feel awed at the same time.

Stereotypes are a common challenge that we women face. Muslim women have limits when it comes to their levels of education. IS Raeesa too educated to get a good partner? Take a peek into her thoughts to see things from her point of view.

Love & Strawberry Cheesecake macrons! <3
Aisha

Aisha took a deep breath, nervously fidgeting with her hijab, she had insisted on doing this week’s presentation when I felt I was the correct person to represent the group. I know I was biased against her because she did not matriculate, but I was a doctor after all. Surely holds more merit. Grimacing, I closed my eyes and sent up a quick prayer that we wouldn’t look like complete idiots.

“Education is the cornerstone to the development of every human being, whether male or female. Just last week I sat in this very audience thinking that education and women can never go together. I realised that when we think of the word “education” we need to reform our mind-frame. Education does not equal feminists or women who are willing to neglect their homes or their children. Education is the freeing of the mind, the ability to accept new information and meld it into our worlds and the ability to move away from stereotypes and grow as people. Boko Haraam has claimed that education is forbidden in Islam – I would like to state that my Prophet (pbuh) who cared for the orphans and the rights of Women has said: “The seeking of knowledge is compulsory on every Muslim…”

As I listened to her dynamic speech, I was in surprised. She spoke so confidently and the entire audience was attentive. I mentally chastised myself for always having such a low opinion of other people. Just this morning, I was at the breakfast table when I corrected my mum’s wording. I didn’t mean any insult, but she is always using the wrong tense and it grates on my nerves. In a temper she lashed out at me: “Raeesa, I am your mother you have to stop feeling as if you are better than the whole world just because you have studied a little!” I looked up in anger: “Studied a little? I’ve been studying for five years and I would be studying right now if it were not for this frustrating family and all their expectations I am so sick of hearing about a girls responsibilities and how too much studying will not give me a chance at finding a good husband!”

I slammed out of the door and came here in a horrible mood which I took out on Saaliha and Aisha. As we left the stage and made our way to the campus coffee shop, I quickly apologised to them and commended Aisha on a job well done. She blushed and almost spilled over her coffee and then said: “Apology accepted. But why were you riding your holier than thou attitude today?” Saaliha grinned and said: “Yeah Miss Doctor and saviour of humanity, please enlighten us.”

I sat pensively for a while then explained to them that my parents refused to let me take my studies further. I needed to specialise, and I really wanted to go into neurology. And I really wanted to get married, but apparently according to society if I was too educated no one would get married to me. So my parents have decided that no more studying. A girl has to settle down and whilst studying was good, I didn’t need to actually work off that studying.

By the time I had finished Aisha and Saaliha were in stitches. I had slipped into Muslim aunty mode. Then Saaliha looked at me and said: “I really want to get my degree as well but this is also what I am truly afraid of. Most of my friends have become pharmacists or doctors but now, they don’t use their studies in any way. It’s like if they do work, they are going against all that is holy.”

Aisha then said: “Okay, let’s say hypothetically you do actually end up specialising then you start working. Your hours are going to be nothing short of crazy. My opinion is that a woman has to take into consideration that she might have kids one day and that her food isn’t going to cook itself. The reality of life is that someone has to create a home and nurture the family.”

We all sat quietly, feeling let down by the world, it seemed that there was no winning. I really wanted to have a husband and family, yet not sacrifice on my career goals. As we sipped our mochas, I realised that as much as education was being punted for us girls, the reality was that we had to find some sort of middle ground. We had to take some control of the situation.

~~~
Points for Discussion:
1. What is the middle ground these women allude to?
2. Are young women not choosing appropriate careers to begin with? How do we go about ascertaining talent versus aptitude and a career versus a vocation?
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