2014-07-02

((( CLICK HERE FOR THE DRAMA PART 1 )))

DOWNLOAD

From PHD’s to Macarons #1

“Good Muslim Girls would Never…”

Asalamualaikum Sisters

Have you ever heard about those girls who stay at home, cook perfectly and have all the correct marriage credentials? Well that is exactly who I am. My name is Aisha, I have always had goals and dreams but as my grandmother, mom and dad have explained, “good Muslim girls make their husbands and families their goals.”

So over time I have just sort of accepted my fate and went with the tide. Over the next few weeks I am in for a roller coaster ride, meeting new people, sharing ideas but most of all developing my mind. I am Aisha Mohammed and this is my story…

Love & Chocolate Hazelnut macrons <3

Aisha

Sitting sullenly pasting signs on a green placard my thoughts wander to my wedding seating chart. I hope that wedding planner found the cerise pink overlays I needed. She was becoming irritating recently. I pay her so why should I have to stress myself out, I am the bride after all. If it wasn’t for my cousin, I would never be sitting here, in this haraam University listening to all these feminists going on and on. This rally is being hosted at Wits University, something about “Boko Haram”. I have no idea what it’s about, but I owed my cousin a favour so I had to come in her place. She’s a dedicated fighter for the rights of women. She believes women can have it all – career and marriage.

Well I disagree. It’s too difficult to run a house as well as have a career. So many women like that have dirty houses, and buy take-out for their husbands. I never want to be like that. I left school in grade nine solely to prepare to be a good housewife, mother and wife – in that order. And that’s what I will be.

 “Aisha, Aisha!” I heard my name and looked up to two annoyed faces. Saaliha and Raeesa were in the same group as I was. I could not have chosen worse participants. Saaliha has just finished school and thought she was going to be the next Einstein or something! As for Raeesa, she was a doctor and kept using words that I didn’t understand; it was almost as if she was purposefully trying to make me feel bad. But she was 25 and not married, so she definitely had that “on the shelf” look. Like she has to prove something, because there was no husband to show.

“Yes, I replied impatiently, are we going to finish this thing or what!? I have to go for a dress fitting still.” “Well, your Royal Highness, if you have stopped day dreaming about tiaras and gararas , maybe we can get some work done” replied Saaliha in a fake voice. I was furious. These two girls thought that just because I hadn’t completed school, I was a nobody and didn’t  have opinions. I would show them.

Slowly, we settled down into our first task of creating a PowerPoint presentation on the Boko Haram incident.  The question for that day was “Is Education important for Women?” Saaliha immediately decided that we would say Education is compulsory for every person and all women should have degrees. Raeesa laughed at her young idealism and said: “My dear have you ever  tried to juggle a fourteen hour work day and still look pretty and have fresh homemade food on the table?”

I instantly felt that she might be on my side, so I agreed with her and began pointing out all the negatives of a women working. I highlighted the fact that her home is her haven; her children need the constant love and care, and if she were free, she could be supportive to her husband and help him further his goals. Besides, Islamically, no good Muslim girl would go into a work place.

When I had finished, I expected nothing short of a standing ovation. Instead, Saaliha shook her head in disgust and began to rant at me. “No place for a Muslim girl? Let me tell you, it’s exactly people like you that make me sick! I’m sure you think that we Muslim women should all be tied to our stoves and complain about our maids. Oh and not forgetting laze around all day with no goals except to look pretty for our darling husbands! I am so tired of hearing about these “good muslim girls”. Really, does that mean the rest of us are all doomed for Jahannam?!”

She stopped for a breath of air, and I stood with my mouth agape. Before I could even think of a reply, Raeesa, (in a calm voice) looked at us both and told us both that we were wrong. Flabbergasted, we listened as she explained that in the time of the Prophet (saw), his first wife Khadija (rad) was a business woman and another wife Zainub (rad) used to sell perfume. Whilst on the other hand, Aisha (rad) used to teach Islamic Law. At the same time Nabi (saw) daughter Fatimah (rad) stayed at home and cleaned her home and took care of her family, whilst on the other hand Umm Haram bint Milhan (rad) was part of a navy envoy. Each Sahabia used her time and her life to do something meaningful. She used her own personal talents to leave her own effect on this world in some way.

Shocked, we both kept quiet and then quietly I asked: “So, is education good or not?” And this was when Saaliha, for the first time that day, said something so pertinent: “Everything has value and harm, but a mind that is educated opens up and can grow in different ways. Education doesn’t always have to be Western Education, but it has to be some form of Education that keeps our minds challenged. I heard in a bayaan that seeking knowledge is compulsory on every Muslim. This knowledge must be beneficial to us women and help empower us to know what is true from false, whether secular or Islamically.”

“Yes, exactly, for knowledge in whatever form helps us to make informed decisions – from something as simple as using clean water for your family’s food to major decisions like dealing with abuse, or even helping your kids with their school work. In whatever form it helps to keep us informed and aware” rejoined Raeesa.

We continued with our work, my head in turmoil. My entire life I was told that good Muslim women should never study. I was amazed to hear that Raeesa a doctor could even know about an Isamic view, but after listening to them I realised that I had a lot of reading to do – my brain had been stagnating for so long it had become a bowl of butter chicken!

~~~

Points for Discussion:

1. Can we still typify women like this in today’s times? Are these typifications still problematic world-over and not just in a Muslim context?

2. What do we mean by Education? Boko Haram are not fighting against school for women/girls per se, they are fighting against a colonised mind. We may not agree with their politics of terrorism, but we do need a rethink regarding the contexts of Education. Moreso, when we blindly quote “Iqra” to validate all sorts of learning.

Download Podcast: [audio-drama of this episode]

Download Podcast: [Discussion Points]