Knowing your wife’s dreams and aspirations.
Too often, newlyweds give up their own personal dreams in the midst of their married life. Dreams are big. They are deep. They are in your heart and they never really go away. They sometimes get buried or forgotten as life moves along, but they bob to the surface every now and again. Dreams are important and make up who you are. As your marriage grows and you have children, priorities change (as they should) and they are now the center of your attention.

But the reality is that when a lady gets married, aspirations and dreams are still a possibility but a lot depends on the mindset and assistance of the husband. Unfortunately, in today’s time, many spouses, especially husbands, forget that their wives also have dreams and aspirations. Once married, many husbands tend to think that the wife’s duty now is to take care of me and bare children while my duty is to work hard and fulfil my aspirations in the process.

And because of such thinking, we find that many women aspire great things in their youth but these aspirations turn into fairytales after marriage.

Allah Ta’aala has mentioned in the Quraan…
“They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them” (Noble Quran 2:187)

From the above verse we understand that just as a wife should assist her husband in fulfilling his dreams and aspirations, a husband should also assist a wife in fulfilling her dreams and aspirations.

What is even worst is that some husbands think that their wives don’t have dreams and aspirations. A person might say that my wife doesn’t have dreams, we married 15 years and she never mentioned anything about dreams or goals. Such a person should ask himself, ‘Did I ever sit down with her in 15 years and ask her what’s her dreams and goals in life?’

Marriage should not be a place where you lose yourself. It is a place where you find yourself. A couple will change and grow together functioning as a team. Unity in a marriage is about allowing and assisting the other person who sleeps next to you to fulfill their dream. When you feel validation and support from one another, you’ll do amazing things.

Of course, we are not picking on husbands, we are simply speaking about husbands because generally, in society, this is what you would find. Wives should also reflect on this point. Sometimes, the aspirations and dreams that a husband always had also become lost in time.