umm Abdillah, Radio Islam Programming | 2015.03.10 | 18 Jumadal Ula 1436 H
Why did the women cross the road? I don’t know, but what is she doing out of the kitchen?
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
How did the medical community come up with the term “PMS”? “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
Three women were trapped on an island. They needed to get across the water to the mainland. They came across a genie who said, “I will grant you ladies three wishes.” The first woman said, “Turn me into a fish” and she swam across the water to the other island. The second woman said, “Give me a boat” and she rowed to the other side. The third woman said, “Turn me into a man” and she walked across the bridge.
Jokes about dumb blondes, women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, women nagging, women who want to control everything, women as sexual toys, women drivers etc. are not just harmless fun and games. Research has shown they normalise sexism and hostility towards women in a way that most people don’t even realise because these types of “jokes” are so prevalent in our society. To such an extent, that even women chastise those who resist them. We at Radio Islam explored this omnipresent phenomenon.
“Peer pressure, the need to conform, colouring within the lines and giving in to an animal-like pack mentality.” – Ml. Junaid Jassat
“Sexist jokes are just so easily accessible, even to men who consider themselves feminists or women rights activists.” – Ejaz Khan
Most men would agree that when they have gathered in exclusively masculine groups it common to have the conversation turn to an exchange of below-the-belt chauvinistic jokes. Such is the glee with which such jokes are told, and such the delight with which they are received, that some psychologists have said it is an essential component of male health! Why do even the most respectable and well-mannered men tell them and listen to others tell them? For some the answer may lie more with males defaulting on their responsibilities – a wee escape from what is perceived as female domination. They explain it as such: some men feel tyrannised by women from birth. His mother, who is perpetually at him to do what he does not want to do, and not to do what he does want to do, hounds the young boy unmercifully and continually. The young man in love is constantly tantalised by the young woman he desires, and the young groom is harried to fulfill his campaign promises to his young bride. And, eventually, as married life settles down, the husband is hounded unmercifully and continually by his wife, ad nauseum.
When “why did the woman cross the road?” gets serious
Research has however shown that exposure to sexist (vs. non-sexist) humour results in more tolerance of sexist discrimination (Ford & Fergusson, 2004). The guise of benign amusement or “it’s just a joke” gives it the potential to be a powerful and widespread force that can legitimise prejudice in our society.
Three studies investigated the effects of exposure to sexist humour on men’s rape proclivity. Men who scored high (vs. low) on hostile sexism reported higher levels of rape proclivity after exposure to sexist versus non-sexist jokes.
In their research Ford and his co-authors also tested the theory that “disparagement humor” has negative social consequences and plays an important role in shaping social interaction. “The acceptance of sexist humor leads men to believe that sexist behavior falls within the bounds of social acceptability.”
In yet another experiment, they asked male participants to imagine that they were members of a work group in an organisation. In that context, they either read sexist jokes, comparable non-humorous sexist statements, or neutral (non-sexist) jokes. They were then asked to report how much money they would be willing to donate to help a women’s organisation. “We found that men with a high level of sexism were less likely to donate to the women’s organisation after reading sexist jokes, but not after reading either sexist statements or neutral jokes,” Ford said.
Conclusion
There is a growing chasm between what “Islam says” and what Muslims do in this regard. Living in non-Muslim societies, it is easy for us to fall into the habits and customs of what is deemed “normal”. We start to set our moral compasses abnormally. We forget Allah’s beloved Nabi (pbuh) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak only what is good or keep quiet, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (or insult) his neighbour…” [Sahih Bukhari]
A step further – By definition, domestic violence is a pattern of abuse – physical, sexual, financial, spiritual, emotional and verbal. Many men (harmless sexist joke types) would say they’d never ever go that far. But domestic abuse includes patterns of disparagement, blame, being ostracised, isolated and condemned in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Not one incident, but a pattern. What is especially troubling is when men who are aspiring to piety and learning about the Deen, engage in sexist behaviour/jokes at home and think it is justified in the religion. These attitudes are sometimes disseminated by preachers who spew misogynistic statements or make “jokes” like women can only be controlled through beating, or “na-paak” women, or that women have half a brain, and are thus emotionally volatile. Women’s genuine concerns are thus belittled or blanketed as “emotional tirades”.
The middle ground: to be funny without being offensive. It may require a little more work – but to start thinking outside of the sexist or racist box is closer to Prophetic aqhlaaq. Just because people (men and women) throw a flippant “It’s just a joke!” disclaimer to the one taking umbrage, does not make it all right.
0 Comments